Saturday, September 30, 2017

In This Life

I've danced around it enough in my life and online, but it is time to admit a truth that is both difficult and freeing: I am of extra- terrestrial stock.

What does that mean?
I will do my best to explain.

On the one hand I am fully human. Human birth into human life from human parents into a human family.
But the other hand tells me that the odd happenings of my life that return in dreams offering  glimpses of otherness while trying to define the otherness in a way my human mind can grasp go beyond the confines of simple Earth life.
I consider ETs my people. When I was young I considered them my real family. I know in my heart they have contacted me. While I regret having no conscious memory of it, I am sure it is for a reason. And I am equally sure I set it up this way for my own good.

Some memories have stuck with me over the decades. I have written on the blog about the clown drawn in grease pencil on a barn wall. I know a visitor put it there because I have never forgotten the day it happened. It plays in my mind frequently.
 In the last few years I have remembered more, how it didn't start as a clown, but morphed into it from fear.
Originally, after the visitor told me couldn't visit me anymore I would go into the barn and gaze at the drawing, remembering our talks.  It wasn't until years later that I understood I am the only one who ever saw the drawing.
I have remembered that during our talks we spoke about my role here, what I was to do in this life. I don't recall what it is. I very much want to, because I want to make sure I do it.
But I believe, now, that part of it is talking openly about the experiences. There are many, many different races in the Universe and I don't know which one I am from, but I do know, among other things, I am a bridge between them and us.

Here's another example:

During a past-life regression in the early nineties I went to a lifetime in Peru thousands of years ago where I was an alien. My current husband was a friend in those days. In the scene I went to he and I had been walking through the rainforest and were stopped on the crest of a large hill. The hill led to a valley and the valley led to a small mountain probably a hundred miles away, if not more.
In it was our base and it was were I was headed. I was excited to go there, but saddened that my friend, being human, could not go with me.
We parted at the hill and I was at the base in an eye blink.

I've always felt I had something to do in life and it always felt big and important. Important comes in many forms. Perhaps my role isn't so big, but it is still important.


Virginia Lee said...

You are, without question, very important. On a personal level, of course, but a much greater one. I've known this since the moment I encountered you. It's why you are my soul-cousin. You and I can type about things that I cannot with anyone else. I learn from you every day. We believe things that others find incredible or ridiculous, but to us they are what is.

I value you beyond this realm, Leah. You are my heart, my brain, and you enrich my spirit beyond description.

I've known the barn story for a long time and accept it. As one who has fallen through time, I completely get your tale of Peru.

Thank you for sharing. I am grateful.

Leah J. Utas said...

Thank you so much for your kind words and kind heart, Virginia Lee.

Anonymous said...

I understand this completely.

Leah J. Utas said...

So grateful that you do.

messymimi said...

While i'm not so sure i understand completely, i am glad that i have met you on this blog. One thing i am certain of, if you have something big and important to do, you will do it if it is at all possible.

Leah J. Utas said...

Thank you for your confidence, Messymimi.

solarity said...

About memory: you can only hold so much in a human brain. With messymimi, I think that if you have something important to do, you will do it, and I don't think it will matter whether you can remember.

Also, :), in the tiny font blogger serves up, I first read Peru as Pern.

Mary Anne in Kentucky

Leah J. Utas said...

Thanks, Mary Anne.

I don't know the Pern series, but I do know there are dragon riders. That'd be so cool.