Thursday, January 23, 2020

Bring Back Romantic Friendship

Whatever happened to romantic friendship? It used to be, until about a hundred years ago that friends could show their affection, profess undying love, and look after one another emotionally without anyone so much as twitching a whisker.

Wiki explains romantic friendship this way. In short it's a passionate and usually non-sexual friendship with a physical closeness not seen in western society.

This is missing today. Men can shake hands with one another, but not hold them. Any touching they get is done under the cover of sports and often involves fighting.
It's a  bit better for women, but even them too much physical closeness gets questioned. Consequently they have all but disappeared.
Not entirely, of course. But they have gone underground.

Years ago I did a story for Women's History Month. My subject had been a nurse who had been quite a character. Among other things she was known for physically hauling in people off the street to make sure they got their shots.  She'd died about five years earlier so I couldn't interview her, but I did speak to her friend.
The two women were companions. Close friends, never married, and they'd shared a house until death parted them.  Work took one away from town for long periods of time. When the other retired she would often go up and stay with her friend.
When the one died the other continued going to go each year where they'd wintered and took a large framed photo of her friend along.
I wrote the story not quite sure what to make of their relationship other than knowing it really wasn't my business.  Any local person I discussed it with left a great deal unsaid.

Not long afterward I found the book,  Surpassing The Love of Men: Romantic Friendship and Love Between Women From the Renaissance to the Present, by Lillian Faderman  (Quill, William Morrow, 1981).
This opened a fascinating world for me. I had no idea such relationships existed and it made me look at the Women's History feature I'd written in a new light. I don't know the degree and details of their relationship and neither does it matter. What these two women had together worked for them, met their needs, and harmed no one.

Same sex marriage is legal and we see same sex couples in shows and movies and it is wonderful.  But we also need the middle ground. Friendship as we commonly see it is great, friends hug, occasionally have a passing touch in a conversation or will comfort one another, but that's about it.
I think we need more physical contact. I believe we'd be healthier and happier and feel less alone if we could have friendship where we weren’t concerned with what everyone thinks or feel the need to question our sexuality.
Bring back romantic friendship for all our sakes.

Monday, January 20, 2020

Gratitude Monday - Eyes On The Skies Edition

I'm sorry I haven't been around lately, blogwise. I haven't forgotten about it. I needed a wee break.  I hope to post a bit more regularly in the future, but who knows?
For now I am grateful that I have a blog to write in.

If you've been reading my posts, then you know I've had a few interesting experiences in my life and that I attribute them to extraterrestrials. Give that history you will not be surprised to learn that I have taken the next logical step.
I am a field investigator for MUFON. That is, I investigate UFO sighting reports.

I joined MUFON Canada about a year ago and wondered about becoming an investigator. I got great support from its director emeritus Andre Morin. He answered my questions and gave me unflagging support as I read the manual and wondered if it was for me.
I am grateful to Andre for this.

There's a test to take. It is open book and you can take all the time you need. Open book tests are the hardest, but I passed. There has been additional training and there will be more.

This is volunteer work. We do it in our spare time and I am grateful that I have the time to spare.
It is eye-opening and it is fulfilling. I am grateful that I get to do this.

Eyes on the skies, my friends.