Thursday, January 15, 2009

Virgin Territory

This young woman has found way to put herself through college by auctioning off her virginity.
Good for her. As of midday yesterday the bidding was up to $5 million. That’ll cover her Family Therapist degree with enough left over to by a small island.
I haven’t quite sorted out what I think. She said she got the idea after her sister hooked for a few weeks to pay for her higher education. It happened in Nevada, and the auction is based in Nevada, therefore it’s legal.
Moral? I’ve decided it’s not for me to judge.
She’s offering a legal product for which there is a market. In a free country with a free market economy she is entitled to do any blessed legal thing she pleases.
She only has to do it once. She’ll be set for life and she’ll get that all–important fame and notoriety to follow her to the end of her days.
What more could she ask?
That he be disease-free for one thing. And that a proper contract be signed taking care of future issues like earnings from the ensuing notoriety.
The buyer is entitled to proof the commodity is as advertised.
He (I am presuming she will sell to a male, but who knows?)
gets to go where no man has gone before. And he gets something unique for his money because once virginity’s gone, it is gone.

Or is it?

Revirginization is popular. A woman can, and for reasons I simply do not fathom, does get her hymen replaced.
Years ago there was process in the Catholic Church that through some kind of classes and spiritual cleansing a person could be a virgin again. I vaguely remember this from Journalism school nearly 30 years ago as a classmate did a story on it.
The idea of revirginization has been around while and now there’s a physical component, too.
All that said, you cannot take away a person’s experiences and muscle memories.
You can have your operations and anything else you want, and you can even sell your renewed virginity at auction later on if you like. As long as it’s legal you have that right.
But please do not tell me that replacing a hymen makes you a virgin. It doesn’t.
So sell it and then get it back. Sell it again. Have it replaced. If you found something you’re good at, then why not?
But you can’t go back. No matter what process you go through and how many times you get your hymen rebuilt you’ll never really, to paraphrase Archie Bunker, make “that tricky U-turn” back to virginity.
I hope the young woman who’s auctioning off her virginity realizes this.


the Bag Lady said...

I am, for once, speechless. (Not that that's gonna stop me....)

There are just so many things wrong with this, I don't know where to start.

On the other hand....$5 million? American? HOW much does it cost to be revirginized....? Let me check my bank account... Oh, wait, I suppose if they want a virgin, she'd better be a young one, too, eh? Damn.

Leah J. Utas said...

Oh I don't know dfBag Lady. Market yourself as the experienced virgin, a veritable Mrs. Robinson.
Quite the untapped market.

the Bag Lady said...

That cracked me up!!!

Tom Rooney said...

$5 million for an inexperienced worker, and I thought high end IT workers were overcharging. I wonder too if you can introduce your children after the revirgin process to your prospective client.

Leah J. Utas said...

Excellent point, Tom. That would be quite the tricky U-turn.

Missicat said...

Wow.....just wow. I don't know..she's selling something she will never get back...or be able to experience with someone she cares about. Sounds sad.

Leah J. Utas said...

God point, Missicat. Straight business deal.
She can do as she pleases, but I wonder how she'll reflect on it in a few decades?

Reb said...

Wow, for 5 Million! Yep, that'll pay for Uni and for the therapist she will need for herself after she realises that if you sell it you are a prostitute - even if only the one time. I certainly hope she is smart enough to have the winner checked out, not only health wise, but, by police records and make sure he isn't some beater. For 5 Million, he would expect to be able to do anything!

Leah J. Utas said...

Oh, yeah, Reb. You are right. To be safe the transaction better be witnessed and recorded, and I hope she has the sense to make sure the cheque clears first.

Thomma Lyn said...

Leah, LMAO @ your comment above mine about the event being witnessed and recorded!

And revirginized? No way. Losing your virginity ain't about the hymen. A hymen can be put back apparently, but once virginity is gone, it's gone for good (unless maybe we're talking about someone who suffers from amnesia).

Leah J. Utas said...

I thought about amnesia, too, Thomma Lynn. But even if your mind is gone, your body still remembers.

Barbara Martin said...

Leah, dead on the body always remembers...and heven forbid she gets pregnant. Accidents have been known to happen.

Reb, I agree with you on the prostitute slant. Written agreement or not, I wonder how legal it really is.