Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Twofer Tuesday --The Beauty of Crap

My mind has been occupied with getting things sorted out for our upcoming trip to Cuba rather than on writing.
The guidebook we picked up was named the Best Guidebook of 2005 by the Caribbean Tourism Organization and its author was named Travel Journalist of the Year.

Here's a snippet:

"Cubans are fastidious about dressing well, especially when going out to the theater or dinner, and for business functions. You may wish to take a dress jacket or cocktail dress for dinners in more expensive restaurants, and for that unexpected meeting with Fidel."
- Moon Handbooks Cuba by Christopher P. Baker (Avalon Travel).

I haven't looked at the hard copy of Biting The Dust and likely won't until the middle of next month.
I felt a bit dry and blocked since I printed it out and knew that I should do something to get the flow going. The question was, what?
Then it hit me--dreck. I have permission to write crap, so why not do it? It'll be fun. Ideas will flow and some of them may even be good.
But what would I write?
The beauty of crap is it doesn't matter. The point is unclogging the drain so the good stuff flows.
To that end I opened up a file and started to have at it. Not to brag or anything, but there's a passage where I cringed so hard I had to close my eyes to finish typing it. I thought it was the worst thing ever until I wrote what I'm offering today.
Without further ado or proper preparation here's a little something from Sara Harris' Interesting Time.

And I'm sorry.

"She felt a strange sensation just below her knee like she was being hugged. A look of horror swept over her face as she realized the cause.
'Pupster. You stop that. You stop humping my leg. Even if it is a compliment.'

If you're wondering, yes, the title is an acronym.

For more or to participate please see The Women of Mystery.

Thank you for reading me.


David Cranmer said...

Don't forget to pack that cocktail dress.

the Bag Lady said...

Hahahahaha (Even being forewarned, I almost spit out my coffee!)

Loved the guidebook lines, too!

Leah J. Utas said...

It's good to be prepared, David.

Glad you like 'em, Cousin.

Hilary said...

I smell a Bulwer-Lytton award. Or is that your acronym I'm smelling? Seriously, I'll bet you could submit (and maybe already have) some fine opening lines for that contest. Your sense of humour would not fail you.

Leah J. Utas said...

Hilary, thanks. It'd be cool to be award-winningly bad.

Reb said...

LOL! Love your lines & you title! Now, where are you going to get a cocktail dress this close to departure?

Leah J. Utas said...

Reb, thanks. Glad you enjoyed them. I had fun writing them when I wasn't cringing.
Sigh. I guess I'm just going to have to hope Fidel accepts me as I am.

Terrie Farley Moran said...


Your wry tone maeks those sentences extremely funny.

As to the cocktail dress--the entire reason I became a writer was sot hat I could dress as I chose. If someone says, "Ew, look how she's dressed," someone else will say: "She's a writer. You know how they are."


Leah J. Utas said...

df Terrie, I'm pleased you found them funny? Who says bad has to be serious?

Totally hear you on dressing. You can't dress me up and it's best not to take me anywhere. Yet it doesn't get in my way.

Nancy said...

Thanks for the laugh! I did an exercise similar to this the other day. Trying to remember an incident from my childhood, I closed my eyes and just started typing...

Are you thinking you might have an unexpected visit with Fidel? Then, by all means, make sure that cocktail dress is securely packed.

Leah J. Utas said...

Nancy, you're welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I suppose I should be as prepared as possible.

Thomma Lyn said...

ROFL!!!!! I'm cracking up. Delightful -- both the acronym title and the snippet!

Leah J. Utas said...

Thanks, TL. Glad I made you laugh.