If you were asked to do something that you didn't want to do, or to buy something you weren't sure you wanted to buy, could you decline?
So far, nothing bad's happened.
It started out many years ago when I noticed that people said yes to requests then wondered how they ever got into this mess. Many such conversations included the phrase, "You hate to say no."
Maybe so, but if you hate yourself for saying yes why do it?
Let me give you an example. Years ago there were some tee shirts left from some event concerning the local National Historic Site. I've forgotten what it was so I apologize for the lack of detail. My boss was involved in the organization and blustered into the office one fine summer afternoon asking who'd like to buy one.
I said I wanted to think about it.
He said the offer was only open today.
"Okay," I replied. "Then no."
He was a bit taken aback, but knew better than to pursue it.
Many others in the office said yes and several were later heard to mutter, "You hate to say no."
I freakin' love it.
Why would you buy or do something you don't want to do? It makes no sense to me. When you say yes out of obligation, the asker owns you. Plain and simple.
Yeah, you're being kind and good and helpful, and frankly, you're losing a bit of yourself every time you do it.
For me it works both ways. If I can say no to you, then you can say no to me. I don't mind. Hell, I respect you and your backbone.
I'd rather hear an honest no than a shallow yes because then when I do get a yes I know it's meant.
Saying no when I don't mean yes has been my practice for so long I've forgotten when it started. It can be learned. It takes practice, but it is worth it.
|Give the boot to the unwanted yes.|