Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The Visitor

Sedation is good.

Sedation is a wonderful thing. I’m all for it. I was sedated a few times during the course of my heart operation last week as opposed to being given a general anesthetic. I slept through most of it though I did awake to experience a few of the highlights. The effects stuck around a while so when I experienced the following guest at my bedside in the recovery room I simply accepted it with little critical thought.

Within an hour of being wheeled back to recovery a woman came to see me. Middle-aged, roundish of build, brown hair and I think brown eyes, wore glasses, and had on a surgical mask. She told me the mask was because she was cleaning beds after patients left and was allergic to the cleaning products. She sat down on the left side of the bed, where there was no chair, and looked at what I presume was my chart.

"I'm March, you're November.* Girlfriend, WHAT are you DOING here?"
So I explained.

We had some more conversation that really doesn't stick with me.
Then she stood up to leave: "Next time, we'll meet on the street. Or in a bar."
I said, "Okay. We'll meet on the street and go to a bar."

She laughed and turned to leave, walked to the curtain (my curtains were drawn for privacy) turned around and blew me a kiss.
I think she preceded it with " Until next time" or "Until we meet again."
Then I went to sleep.

It felt like the X-Files episode “One Breath” where Scully is in the hospital and gets visited by an angel in the form of Nurse G. Owens.
My special visitor looked somewhat like Nicola Cavendish, the actress who played said nurse.

If it was an hallucination, then it was more detailed than any of the regular hallucinations I get from the beta blockers I take. Those come in the night and involved being covered up, which panics me, assorted shapes in the room, and my clock radio not looking right. On one stellar occasion the clock offered me a scrolling newsfeed rather than the time.

Someone cleaning the beds had no reason to come visit me. I was within 10 feet of a fully-staffed nurse's station and I wonder why someone would take that chance. If it was a staffer, then it was a weird-ass psycho lovebitch and I am creeped out beyond all measure.

I am sure it was an angel. A spirit being would know to come to me in a recognizable form, and one that I would accept.
Appearing as a cherub or with wings and a halo would scare me or make me laugh.

It felt beyond this worldish. I am sure it was a member of the angelic realm and I am tickled silly about my special visitor.

*reference is to birthdays


MizFit said...

uh, wow.

that's what Im left with and the realization that I need to CHOOSE to live more of my life (hallucination or not :)) in this manner:
I simply accepted it with little critical thought.

Crabby McSlacker said...

It does sound like sedation is a great entryway into a whole other world!

I've never had a hallucination and/or otherworldly visit, so I'm a bit jealous.

If you've got to do hospital stuff (and you are so brave and uncomplaining about it all, as I certainly wouldn't be) at least it's nice you had a visitor.

Leah J. Utas said...

MizFit, certain things are best taken this way.

Crabby, sedation has a big plus side. Hallucinations have their upside too, as long as there aren't too many of them and they aren't terrifying. The clock radio ones are really not so bad.
I think everyone ought to have an otherworldy guest now and again. It's good for perspective.

As for my uncomplainingness, Crabby, being negative makes a situation worse. All this medical stuff has been to help me so I focus on the outcome and remind myself the icky stuff is only a few minutes.

Hilary said...

What a cool hallucination/dream/memory. You've such an open mind. Though I'd hate for you to be disappointed to learn that the hamster sent her...

Very cool.. really. :)

Reb said...

Drugs don't do that for me! In fact this last time, they didn't even knock me out :(

That's a pretty cool angel that suggests meeting in a bar though.

Leah J. Utas said...

Thanks, Hilary. It truly was. I wouldn't put it past the rodent, though. They're like that.

You're not getting the right drugs, Cousin. Demand the best. Sorry to hear they didn't work.

Yeah, the bar thing is cool. A spirit realmer is going to go with what works.

the Bag Lady said...

Hey, cousin! That definitely sounds like a spirit visitor to me (I don't even want to consider that it really was some weird ass psycho love bitch employee.... that would be beyond strange!)
And maybe Hilary is right - the hamster sent her. *chortle*
But the bar thing - knowing you, and knowing what a big drinker you are, and how much you love the bar scene.... well, okay, maybe a classy lounge or somethin'....

Leah J. Utas said...

df Bag Lady a bar is normal, something friends might do (Maybe she meant a coffee bar??) therefore I'd accept it. Hey, maybe an Angel could fix it up so I tolerate alcohol again.

Ann (bunnygirl) said...

I'm open to the idea of spirit visitors, angels, whatever one wants to call them. Sadly, they seem less open to visiting me. Oh well.

Leah J. Utas said...

Maybe they've been by and you thought it was someone normal?

Terrie Farley Moran said...

df Leah,

How wonderful for you.


Nancy said...

Wow, you had surgery? I hope all is well. As for the visitor - how strange. I certainly don't discount a visit from an angel. Maybe your angel, or spirit guide? She certainly has a good sense of humor..

Leah J. Utas said...

df Terrie, yes. Thanks.

Lover of Life, it was heart surgery. It could have been my spirit guide, but I lean toward Angel. Just the feeling I get.

Thomma Lyn said...

I think that is incredibly cool. I wouldn't dig a cherub with wings and a halo, either. In fact, I'm pretty sure I would be visited by a cat. :)

Leah J. Utas said...

LOL. I'm sure of it too, Thomma Lyn.

Barbara Martin said...

Your angels are always around you waiting to be asked to help or to provide a soothing presence. Having surgery is one of those times.

My angelic contacts have been mostly through telepathic communications with an occasional presence of: brilliant white light slowing enlarging, glimpses out of the corner of my eye of tall, slender figures wearing gossamer robes of pastel colours, all combined with a sense of well being and unconditional love. They try to steer us in the correct direction to complete our required stages of soul growth, though everything we do is by our choice.

Sometimes angels do appear in human form, something we would recognize and feel comfortable with. I have encountered such experiences. Its all in their eyes and their ageless faces. There's no mistake.

So, Leah, count yourself blessed and continue to ask for your angels' assistance. They will be very glad to assist in whatever you request.

Leah J. Utas said...

Barbara, thanks for sharing your angel contact. I always love learning about other's experiences.
I ask, but I don't always realize I've been given an answer.
I know I've been blessed. Thanks for underscoring it for me.
One of the toughest lessons is understanding that what happens to is what we've asked for/agreed to. Once we get that sorted life becomes so much more fun.