Monday, January 21, 2019

Gratitude Monday - Solid Gratitude Edition

Back in the early 90s I'd had a dream that started in the house I spent my teen years in on the farm. In it I am in my parent's bedroom and there's a white cat on the window sill.
Then I am in my bedroom in my bed in my apartment and this same white cat rushes up from the foot of the bed to the head. A great waving of rising energy went through me keeping pace with the cat.
It is near impossible for me to describe this feeling properly. Rising, almost tingly, awake, fully alive, energy, and maybe not quite solid.

I rose up. It felt like my body, but I think I may have felt my body on the bed. I can't be sure because I so felt so filled with energy. I turned a bit went toward the open bedroom door. Instead of going through the door I went through the wall beside it.
It felt so wonderful. I was whole and yet in particles and so free and so filled with joy. I knew exactly what to do and how to do it, how to get through solid matter. It came to easily to me.
It made me happy to do this. Overwhelmingly happy. I went back to bed, back to my body in my bed and the cat walked back to the foot of the bed.

I know I fell back to sleep because I woke up remembering what had happened and knowing how, but not believing in, my ability to walk through the wall.
What stayed with me was an overwhelming feeling of love and the sense of belonging, of wanting to be with people, listen to them, love them, join in with them. That was entirely new.

That day at work I did join in more conversations and casual discussions and I know I was smiling that day. Maybe not on my face, but inside I grinned from ear to ear and I felt joy and happiness and wonder and such gratitude for life.
The joyous desire to be with others and socialize didn't last very long. Within a day or so I was back to my usual leave-me-alone-please self, but I remember how it felt to not just want to belong, but to know how to do it, and to do it and to feel I belonged. I remember the internal smile.

I remember the feeling I had of knowing I could get through solid matter by simply opening spaces in my body at the subatomic level. It's easy and simple and everyone can do it, I remember.
But I no longer remember how to do it, and the core sureness of it is gone.


I've had a lifetime of interesting occurrences and I've been writing about them. From time to time I will post about them.
They cover a fairly wide variety of experiences and some are difficult to speak about. That tells me it is important to do so.  I am convinced more people have these sort of off-normal experiences than are willing to say so publicly. In fact, I expect there are so many that they should be considered normal.


messymimi said...

It’s nice to hear from you again. You’ve had some interesting experiences, i hope they help you figure out whatever it is you are supposed to do.

Leah J. Utas said...

Thank you so much, Messymimi.

Virginia Lee said...

Yeah, we know you're magical, goobling. One reason we love you so much. Me? I just seem to visit alternate universes in my dreams. And I find myself gamboling about with my favorite pal, my sweet mama, in new and different situations a lot. One interesting recurring dream I have involves alternate versions of the space that was my dad's office in the church I grew up in. The other day it had been turned into a shop full of musical paraphernalia and Peanut cartoon themed items. He'd have loved what was in there though would have been loath to admit such. I was surprised there wasn't anything representing Southern History, however, since he was such an aficionado.

Leah J. Utas said...

Very cool about your dreams, VL.