Objectivity Pays

This post by Thomma Lyn Grindstaff got me thinking about a few things.

By nature I am objective. Emotions rarely get the better of me in a conversation. I simply do not take things personally.

This objectivity has been underscored by my years reporting. I can hear almost anything.

Consequently, I can engage in a conversation about just about anything with just about anyone and have it not result in a shouting match or name calling.

Some of these conversations have been frustrating and annoying, but I've kept an open mind and an objective stance,  and I've reminded myself they don't mean anything after they're over.
Emotionally-charged people do not understand me. They take it personally when I don't get upset with them.  Those people don't spend long in my life.

I find it downright odd how so many people waste their energy trying to change someone else's opinion because it doesn't match their own.  

Your opinions are yours and are just that: opinions. It has nothing to do with your life or worth as a human being if someone disagrees with you.

It's not a comment on your outlook, attitude, intellect, philosophy, or the validity of your belief structure. It is neither right nor wrong. It's what another autonomous human being thinks about a subject based on his or her education, social environment, upbringing, and life experiences.

I don't like group conversations because most people I've known see them as competitions, not exchanges of ideas. I like a good conversation. I have no time for opinion contests. 

People who don't really listen and who have to be right about everything lose out. Their closed minds won't allow anything else in and that means they are the intellectual equivalent of an algae-choked pond. Stagnant, festering, and unable to sustain life.

Boiling sulphur pond in Yellowstone. I didn't have any algae-covered lake photos so this will have to do.

 Listening to someone else's opinion can refresh your own mind with a new outlook, or the latest conspiracy theory, or a reworked urban myth,  or  a reinforcement of your own ideas.

As a writer it is important to find out about people, places, things, and a good way to do that is to hear what people are saying. 

I don't have to agree with it, but I do want to hear it.

Is Being A Beta Reader Scary?

I wonder if I scared my friends.
Last June I approached several people to read my manuscript. I listed what I wanted them to check for as they read.

Grammar wasn’t on the list for most of them. I have one faithful beta whose grammar skills outpace most everyone else currently walking the Earth. Her instructions included “read it with a red pen.”
Mostly I wanted the readers to tell me if the manuscript made sense. Was it interesting? Engaging?
Did I contradict myself anywhere?
If you’d spent money to read this, would you demand it back?

I’ve discussed books with these people. I know they have opinions, strong ones, about what they read and that’s what I wanted.
I get that it’s difficult for most people to blurt out the brutal truth, but that’s what I was after. If I don’t know there’s a problem, how can I fix it?

I tried to get a good cross-section of readers. Some were new agey and aware of meditation and hypnosis, others not so much.
Red pen reader was happy to do it and, though kind, told me the truth. Most everyone else seemed reluctant. Many still did it, although one who initially agreed later said she didn’t have time to do it. Was it really a time issue, or did the manuscript bore her silly? I didn’t ask. Maybe I didn’t want to know.

If you read books, then you have an opinion on them. That’s my idea when I look for betas.
When I’m asked my opinion, I give it. I’ve occasionally tried to be kind about it, though I can’t really pull that off.
I’d rather hear the truth as it is than have anything sugar-coated. It’s what I’d like to get back, especially from betas.