Techno-Twit

Hello, my name is Leah and I am a techno-twit. There. I feel better already.

Why the admission?

Well, there’s something I want to do, but I cannot figure out how to do it. I’m stumped.

I’m not a total twit, of course. I’ve managed to gather quite a few skills on my own over the years.
For example, I taught myself to make piecrust. I woke up one March morning four or five or five years ago and decided “Today’s the day.” The first crusts were brutal though the filling made it tolerable.
I persevered. I made many a crust and learned as I went. They’re adequate now and I have since declared March as “Pie Month” to honor my work. Hey, any excuse for pie.

I’ve taught myself other things too and can get by in the world. I’m even pretty good at opening jar lids. It’s a necessary skill for a single woman. Even though I’m not single any more I still open most of the jars myself. It amuses me and makes me feel powerful.

I am far from helpless. Fortunately, I am far from being unable to ask for help when I need it.

So, I’m asking: how in heaven’s name do I make text bold, italic, or underline in the blog comments trail?

I’m serious. I cannot for the life of me figure it out.
I’ve tried everything I can think of and nothing happens.
I searched through Blogger Help and it was just as helpful as it could be. That’s why I’m asking.
Please, somebody, spell it out for me.

Use simple words, ideally of one syllable or less. Draw a picture. Point if you can.

Thank you.