Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Say What You Are

It’s important to be definite. When we’re wishy-washy in the way we express ourselves it sends a subliminal message to our listeners. We can be swayed. We can be talked into anything.
In short, we are ripe for the picking.
When you know yourself and are comfortable with it, then using definite language in expression is a natural extension of the way you speak.
When we’re not comfortable we vacillate.
It shows up in a myriad of ways including the seemingly polite “I would like” when ordering something as simple as ice cream.
It might be okay in ordering food although I prefer to go with “I want” or “I’ll have a double scoop with Black Forest and Caramel Pecan please,” but in life in general it sets us up as being not quite sure of our footing.
To a degree “I will be” or “I want” is suggestive of vacillating, but I say it’s okay often their use means setting a goal.
Many spiritual declarations direct us to affirm what we want by stating that we already have it.
That’s good, too, but if you’re just starting out on the affirmation trail you’re going to argue. How can you say you have something when you clearly don’t?
In this instance, declaring “I will have” is a good place to start. Get yourself used to the idea and then move on to “I am” and “I have.”
Don’t leave it too long, though. Saying “I will have” always leaves the results somewhere in the future. You want it now, don’t you?
I say use the definite declaration. Feel the power of the words inside you as the clear statement is made.
For instance, yesterday I wrote about my freelance stories being published.
No more of this “I’d like to freelance” nonsense.
I am a freelancer.
I write. I am published.
Start out simply with “I think.” Leave it at that. Not “I think I’m …” or “Gee, I think that’s the case.”
No. I mean declare the fact that you are able to give thought to you actions.
I have thoughts. I am able to think. I exercise this ability.
Try it. Build from there. State your purpose and stand your ground and feel the difference it makes.

Stop looking over the fence at what you want and go get it.

Mountain Goat along the Jasper-Banff Highway.


Hilary said...

Wise words, Leah. I think I might potentially consider trying to maybe put them to possible use... ish.

How am I doing so far?


Crabby McSlacker said...

Hmm... good point, regarding those of us who vacillate TOO much. (I'm one of those).

But I also think there are downsides to self-assurance and definiteness sometimes. I LIKE to see people questioning their intentions on occasion. But perhaps that's because I live in a country that's way too heavy on the "I want" and could use a little more "I would like."

Leah J. Utas said...

Thanks. You're doing great, Hilary.

You make an excellent point, Crabby. Too much self-assurance becomes arrogance and leads to taking without asking and overblown entitlement.
My point is stop putting off your life and start living it.

the Bag Lady said...

Having computer troubles today - hope THIS comment will show up...

Great post, dfLeah. A little more self-assurance is a good thing. One needs to believe in one's self and abilities.

Leah J. Utas said...

Sorry to hear about the computer troubles. Hope it gets sorted out to your satisfaction quickly.
Self-assurance, as long as it's not taken to an obnoxious extreme, is really good.

Mark Salinas said...

Well stated!

Leah J. Utas said...

Thanks Mark.

Reb said...

Good post Leah and as always a timely reminder to go after what you want. Love the photo.

Leah J. Utas said...

Thanks, Reb. Glad you like the pic.

Thomma Lyn said...

What a great post. Something which comes at a good time for me. I'm living my life, and I'm proud of that, even though somebody in my family of origin is doing her best to make me feel badly about myself for doing so.


I love the life I have chosen and I make no apologies for it.

To quote Walt Whitman:

The spotted hawk swoops by and accuses me—he complains of my gab and my loitering.

I too am not a bit tamed—I too am untranslatable;
I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.

Leah J. Utas said...

I'm sorry you have to go through that, TL. But good for you for standing your ground and doing your best to ignore it.
People who try to make us feel bad about ourselves are themselves suffering.
Love the Walt Whitman quote.