Thursday, August 7, 2008

How Much Room?

I need room.
I have to have plenty of space around me or I feel trapped. I’ve been claustrophobic all my adult life, but lately a new layer has been added. I feel crowded when I eat. Even when I have the table to myself.
I have to spread things out.
I like to read when I eat and it’s usually the newspaper. Broadsheets take up a great deal of space and I need it far enough away from me so that my almost ten-lustrums-old-laser-buzzed eyes can get a proper bead on the words.
In the past I needed a bit of free space around me, but managed to make do with whatever was available.
Not any more.
It’s gotten to the point where I can’t seem to get enough space on the table. No matter how much room I take it’s never enough and it’s making me growly.
A few months ago I had lunch with a friend and we sat at a table for two. I felt assaulted from the lack of room around me because the table itself was so small.
This sensation of crowding is expanding now to other areas. I feel better with the doors open in the house because it provides the illusion of space.
I find I have to raise my arms and spread them out or up as much as I can to open myself to the space around me. It’s as if I have to claim more physical area for myself. My territory must expand.
Lately I’ve found I need even more space to prep food. I get very irritated if I lack space when I’m chopping something and I’ve had to move the drain board away from the sink so I can have that space to work with, too. It still isn’t enough.
I’m not sure where this is going. Space is limited. Either I have to find out why this is happening so I can channel the expansion to the right area of my life, or we get rid of the furniture.
**
What about you? Do you ever feel crowded? Do you need a great deal of space, or are you okay with just enough?


I need room when I chop.

14 comments:

Missicat said...

I do get crowded easily - I have a large area of "personal space" around that I do not like invaded! My dream house would be a large, loft-like building with minimal furniture. One can dream, right?

Leah J. Utas said...

I don't like my personal space invaded either, Missicat. I like your loft dream. I hope you get it.

the Bag Lady said...

I agree - I need a lot of space, and feel crowded if I can't spread out. That's part of the reason I designed my house the way I did - lots of open space.
Unfortunately, it also means a lot of work to keep it looking tidy. One thing about having walls and doors is that you can close the door on the messy rooms. Of course, in my house, that means you'd have to sit in the bathroom, because it's usually the cleanest room.

Leah J. Utas said...

You have a lovely open home with plenty of room.
I understand about the closed doors, but open works better for me. And tidy does make a difference.

Reb said...

I can manage, because I have no choice, in my apartment. I don't like to have people over though, because then it is crowed.

As for people and crowding GAH! Somebody give me a car I can't stand transit anymore! I don't care that it will increase my carbon footprint!

Leah J. Utas said...

I can sympathize with the transit woes. I don't care to have too many people around me and I sure don't like it when we're sardined together.

Polly Kahl said...

Love the picture of you chopping wood. I agree about space, and it's getting more so as I age. There's nothing worse than going into a restaurant with a friend and finding yourself at a table too small to relax at, especially when it's got all kinds of drink and dessert menus in the center. Whenever possible I move all the crap from our table onto an empty table nearby. The more room the better.

Leah J. Utas said...

Ah, it's not just me. Yes, those small tables are awful. I wonder if neediing space is a normal function of aging?
I'm glad you like the picture, Polly. I had fun chopping wood even though it was tiring.

Hilary said...

I have a pretty small townhouse which is fine enough for me and my son, but the kitchen is just too small and counter space very limited. I feel your pain about having to move the dish drainer out of the way. A spacious kitchen would be quite the luxury.

I like that photo.. that's quite a technique you have there!

Leah J. Utas said...

Yes, it would, Hilary, although ours isn't too bad. It's just the counter space that's not enough for me any more.

As for the wood-chopping, Mike thought it was time I learned how to wield an axe.

Thomma Lyn said...

Oooh, I relate. The more space I have, the happier I am. I think that's why I'm so happy in the mountains. I don't like lots of clutter. My dream house would be a cabin with minimal furnishings, no clutter, and plenty of AIR. We live in a tiny house, and while it's a nice, snug little house, I go bats every now and again and spearhead a declutterization project wherein I shove as much clutter in the basement as I possibly can to get it out of my face. :)

Leah J. Utas said...

Oh, yeah, the clutter gets to me sometimes, too, TL. It's not too bad usually, but somedays it seems worse.
I'd love a cabin like that.

MizFit said...

it depends on whom Im with.

surrounded by.

ENTIRELY.

my daughter? husband? I want as little space as possible.

the rest of the world? PLEASE TO BACK OFF.

Leah J. Utas said...

Mizfit, totally get it. Surrounded by people we love is rarely crowding.